


Speak To Me

by redleaders



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Porn With Plot, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, This is a dark fic, reader is a badass storm trooper who is sad, reader is recovering from trauma, sexy space times, star wars about hate, star wars about love, star wars about wars in space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redleaders/pseuds/redleaders
Summary: in an attempt to stray from the clone program and begin recruiting in higher numbers, the empire had been stealing children from their families at birth, and raising them alongside the clones. as one of these children, you are raised believing that you must do everything in your power to stop the jedi, when the time comes, because if you don’t, the entire galaxy will perish into despotism. after the execution of order 66, your craft is defective and crashes in the middle of the judland wastes. you believe you are all but dead, until you are saved by someone who wants to die almost as much as you do.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Kudos: 15





	Speak To Me

**_"I hate you."_ **

Obi-Wan Kenobi awoke to nothing.

His dreams clouded his light eyes, intertwining themselves so carefully with reality that he could not truly decipher them anymore. Every night, the last words of Anakin Skywalker played in his head. Like a hellish lullaby, meant to torture him until the day he died.

I hate you.

But Obi-Wan knew that no one could possibly hate him as much as he hated himself.

Alone, at night, he was left with nothing but visions of his failures. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw him. Laying, near death, screaming at him with every last ounce of strength he possessed, to make sure he knew the extent of the damage he had caused.

He saw him, dying.

He saw her, dead.

He saw their children, cast away into nothing, doomed to lead lives of pain and suffering.

All because of him.

Because, he failed.

No amount of training he received in his young life could have prepared him for this. He tried to recall the past lessons he had learned, to remember what he had dedicated his life to, what he had done it for.

But he could find no reason.

He had no will.

His eyes stared blankly at the rolling dunes of sand, reflecting the beating sun as it burned his skin. He saw nothing. Nothing but shadows, and ghosts.

He wondered if things would have gone differently if his old Jedi master would not have died all those years ago. Obi-Wan knew deep down in his heart that he was not ready to be knighted. That he was not ready for the overwhelming burden of training the chosen one.

Anakin.

His heart twisted and writhed in his chest whenever he thought his name. In losing Anakin to the dark side, he had lost himself as well.

Now, the Jedi were gone. Only two remained, and they were in hiding. Obi-Wan did not know where Yoda had gone, and a small part of him had known that he would never find out. That day on Alderaan was the last time he would ever see the great Jedi.

And now, he was stuck in the vast wasteland of Tatooine. Anakin’s home planet. Left with nothing but himself and his great failures. Left with nothing but time.

And the son of his old apprentice.

He had been instructed to watch him. To protect him. But truly, Obi-Wan did not think himself worthy of protecting anything.

There was no danger here. Not anymore. Not yet, at least.

For now, there was only silence.

The kind of silence that tore at his flesh and rang in his ears and never quieted down. The kind of silence that burned and writhed and twisted and warped every facet of his reality.

He was so alone.

At night, desperate to sleep, he imagined an ocean. Its waves. The subtle order of it would calm him, the sound would lull him back into the abyss of his dreams.

And then, Anakin would come back. He would always come back.

And the cycle was repeated.

On and on and on without an end. Days of endless wandering, staring at the spineless lightsaber that hung painfully at his side, walking through vast planes of nothing, and yet, seeing everything. Dreaming visions of Anakin Skywalker, of Darth Vader, of Qui-Gon Jinn, of the temple, of the man he used to be.

He would stay there forever, in that endless circle, he was sure of it. It was the only way to atone for his greatest fault. Only then, could he die in peace.

But that time was years in the future.

For now, he was left with the sand. With Luke Skywalker. With himself. And the memory of all those he had loved, and lost.


End file.
